Follow by Email

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Query and First 250 Words



Query:

Dear Mr./Ms. XXXX,
Fifteen year old Rosemary has arrived in Nice, France, with one goal in mind:  to escape the strict confinement of her former life and carve out a place for herself as a new member of the host family she’s purposefully selected.   Her mother believes Rosemary is in Arizona, while her best friend thinks she’s in Paris.  Her host parents think she came to study art and learn the French language.  Only Rosemary knows the truth.  Once summer ends, she has no intention of returning home. 
Rosemary soon finds that living her carefully crafted new life is harder than she ever thought, as she tries to hide her lack of artistic talent and the one thing about herself she hates the most: the communication disorder that keeps her from speaking clearly.  While dealing with her far-too perceptive host mother and a guy who can’t seem to leave her alone as she juggles her many lies, Rosemary soon uncovers secrets that threaten to destroy her only chance for success.  She is so desperate not to expose who she really is that she may tell the biggest lie of all to stay, even if that lie could destroy the life of someone who cares for her.
My contemporary young-adult novel, The French Impressionist, is complete at 60,000 words.  I have been a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators since 2009.  I’ve been a speech-language pathologist for thirteen years, a profession that continues to increase my love for children’s literature.
I appreciate your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Rebecca Bischoff
 
 

First 250 Words:
 

 

THE FRENCH IMPRESSIONIST
by Rebecca Bischoff

 

CHAPTER ONE

I’m here because I lied. 

I know it was wrong.  My heart stings inside me; but I don’t care.  I got away.  I’m the only fifteen year-old I know who has never been alone with a friend.  I’ve never been to the mall, never been on a date, never walked half a block by myself.  But all that is about to change, thanks to my lie.

The world is no longer black and white.  Outside is a crayon box-full of colors; with the blues melting together into a perfect painting of sea and sky.   Through the open shop door I smell the freshness of the orange and bergamot trees that quiver outside in the soft Mediterranean breeze, along with the scents of hot sun on sand, salty ocean, and a puff of sweet vanilla air exhaled from a nearby bakery.   A tram whirs by and clangs its bell.  Voices pass the shop, murmuring in the unfamiliar cadences of a foreign language, leaving behind a cloud of gentle laughter.  I start to laugh, too.  I take in my freedom like a drowning person gulps the air.  No matter how many more half-truths or fibs I have to tell, or how much bold-faced BS I have to spew, I’ll do it. 

I won’t go back home.

23 comments:

  1. This is good. Really good. Good luck with the contest and best wishes to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love the setting. It's fun to read contemporary stories taking place in other countries. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oooh, I like everything that's going on here. Good luck to us both, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Soooo good. I'm disappointed that it ended. Good luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh this is awesome! Such a strong premise, I'd totally read on. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fascinating premise, with the promise of a nice, twisty plot! I love the voice in your snippet, too. I'm already rooting for her. :) Good luck in the contest, and happy writing!

    --Suzanne
    www.suzannewarr.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. This sounds awesome - good luck! I wish I could read more. By the way, I'm a speech language pathology assistant (though currently not working in the field) so I was really excited when I read the main character has a communication disorder. Love the idea!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nice! This sounds great! Good luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. A French setting and a killer first line. I'm definitely intrigued! Good luck with this :)

    http://www.blairthornburgh.com/writing/the-writers-voice-entry/

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love the idea of a story set in France and it's great that you are using your life experiences to craft this. I'm sure it adds a layer of believability.
    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I really like the sound of this! Great opening line in your 250. Would love to read more!! Best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ooh, sounds intriguing! Good luck in the contest!

    ReplyDelete
  13. A liar we sympathize with immediately. Great opening. Good luck in the contest.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love that this is set in France, I love that your mc is likeable but flawed and I like that she isn't waiting for life to happen for and is making it happen for herself. Very well done!

    ReplyDelete
  15. This sounds like a dream I had to go somewhere and have no one know. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Great title and wonderfully intense premise. Best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm always a softie for a flawed protagonist.:) I'd pick this book up and take it home for sure. Good luck to you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. The query sounds awesome, and I know for a fact the book is fantastic! Good Luck, Rebecca!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. This sounds awesome and I LOVE your title :) Good luck!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Beautiful descriptions int he first 250 words :) Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Your MC really sees with an artists eye. Sending you good luck vibes for the contest.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your opening caught me and pulled me right in. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hey Rebecca,

    My interest is piqued! (Brenda gave me the green light to ask for pages). Would you send me a pitch letter with a one page synopsis and the 1st 50 pages to pooja@kimberleycameron.com? Looking forward to it.

    Pooja Menon
    Kimberley Cameron & Associates

    ReplyDelete